I’ve never been much for tragedy. I remember studying the Greeks and Shakespeare, and the tragedies always made me cringe. I suppose that is the point, right, evoke pity and fear. But still, I can’t stomach watching two well-intentioned lovers act rashly for just a moment and end up dead in each other’s arms, or reading along as fate constantly intervenes against the actions of the ill prophesied family and the son kills his father and sleeps with his mother anyway. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic, or maybe I’m just a naïve optimist but I want that kooky disguise to fool the authorities and allow the lovers to meet in secrecy, I want there to be a wedding in the end, I want to think that people can live happily ever after.

What’s even worse is when I see tragedy unfurl in real life. What’s worse is when I see those moments or decisions that change the course of everything. What’s worse is when I see those moments either in my own life, or in the lives of others, and I feel powerless to do anything about them, powerless to changes them. You know, those moments when you have one split second to act, or react, or say something, or keep quiet….and you don’t. We all have those moments.

My friend CP passed on Sunday. The last year and a half of her life was filled with major challenges. She was truly one of those people who had made it to the top of the world, when suddenly it all started to unravel, uncontrollably shift. I visited with her last December and she had spoken of moments of enlightenment and depths of faith she had experienced along her path. What had played out much like a modern day tragedy had been described more like a kind of blessing by the person who lived it.

Perhaps that is part of the story that never came across to me while reading the tragedies. All I’ve ever seen in those stories is the seemingly useless suffering, the painful ironies that lead to failure and heartbreak and leave you asking “what for?” And I have this terrible urge to re-write the endings, to change the course of events.

I would like to think that all suffering does bring with it a blessing. I would like to think that all things work out for the best. But then, I guess I would be talking about the comedies… and right now I can’t seem to get the tragedies off my mind.