Scene: London street, late at night. The crowd is loud and boisterous, as the soccer matches have just ended and the jubilant fans are making their way home. I am approached by two very intoxicated Londoners.
Lady [hanging on ‘her man’, swigging from a mostly empty bottle of vodka]: Have you heard the news? We won! Brighton won.
Me [feigning that this is signifigant news to me as well]: Really? That’s great.
Lady: Right. Brighton won.
Me [still mildlly sarcastic]: Wow. We should have a picture for this occasion.
I step back to get them into focus, and the woman leans forward and slurs.
Lady: Would you like me to pop my tit out?!
Me [slightly stunned but not wanting to deny her kind offer]: Uh,….Sure.
She proceeds to “pop”.
Lady: Alright then take the picture.
Snap, Flash…a brief moment passes as she “un-pops”
Lady: By the way, did I tell you I’m pregnant?
Man: Are you really, Love?! I had no idea. That’s fabulous.
The two continue on their drunken way, passing what is left of the vodka back and forth, leaving an amused and wide-eyed group of Americans in their wake.
Sometimes we are all faced with moments that call us to do the very things that are most difficult for us. For me, that is asking for help. However, currently I find myself in a situation where I feel compelled to do so. Therefore, I humbly request and gratefully accept any prayers, thoughts, special intentions or simple well wishes you might offer for Divine Right Action and Perfect Outcome for a situation that I currently face.
Peace to you all.
SCENE: My living room after a long day of turbo shopping. As usual the day winds down to the ‘fashion show’. I enter the room in my new swim suit cover-up.
ME: So, what do you think?! CHA-CHING!!!!
MOM: It’s cute. But I don’t think you need the “cha-ching”. It’s really enough without the sound effect.
1. I love sushi
2. I think of myself as blonde
3. My blood type is A+
4. I dance in my car a lot
5. I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve broken another’s
6. I think brains are sexier than bodies
7. I was a shot-putter
8. Mohandas Gandhi’s Grandson and his wife had tea at my house
9. I embrace change
10. I might be the kind of person who doesn’t talk to strangers. I just haven’t met one yet.
11. I think my brother has a great ass…is that kinky?
12. I love motorcycles
13. I seldom try as hard as I should
14. I’ve always been fay
15. I am a Soul Renewed
16. In my dreams I fly on my back feet first like they luge
17. Sometimes I feel like a professional failure
18. The beauty, power and energy of being in a crowd can bring me to tears
19. My secret power would be invisibility
20. I chiseled a piece off the Berlin Wall on Nov 12th, 1989
21. I wear a Labrys
22. Music transforms me
23. I own and use almost everything in the Redkin product line
24. I believe in active non-violence
25. I have three nipples
26. If I won the lotto I would give away $10,000 to a stranger, just to see their reaction
27. Kissing is more intimate than sex
28. I’m a voyeur
29. I have small feet
30. I am a poor swimmer
31. Computers are better than TV
32. I literally see God in everyone around me
33. I love Annie Lennox
34. I believe I’ve seen a ghost
35. I’m not easily embarrassed
36. Catholicism left me with the illusion that the Divine smells like Frankincense
37. I am not strong enough to be your cure
38. 3 most important things I learned in school: critical thinking, that I can learn, perseverance
39. I hated being a girl, but I love being a woman
40. I drink too much
41. I am considered to be a ‘water witch’ (dowser).
42. I’m equal portions of wit and wisdom
43. I am a ‘nite-owl’
44. I can be a real smart ass
45. My favorite movie is “Wings of Desire”
46. I have lived on a farm
47. I’ve had approximately 27 different jobs
48. I am Aquarius
49. I come with intrinsic entertainment value
50. I love sunglasses
51. I want to be better
52. I would literally give a friend the shirt off my back
53. I have great eyesight
54. By nature I am an adventurer
55. I am very patient
56. I’ve climbed to the heights of Delphi
57. I’m a ‘discreet’ nudist
58. I believe I can make a difference
59. I think papayas and figs are the sexiest fruits in the world
60. I’ve never had the desire to give birth
61. Dancing is divine
62. I hate letting my clothes get wrinkled in the dryer
63. My mother is one of my best friends
64. Sometimes I’m really lazy
65. I can be very stubborn
66. I have a challenged relationship with smoking
67. I feel sexually free
68. I love the smell of sheets dried outside
69. I met Pope John Paul II at his summerhouse, Castel Gandolfo
70. I am sentimental
71. My favorite number is 3
72. I have a beautiful mind
73. I have relatively simple needs
74. I’ve lost it all, started over and feel stronger for it
75. I wish none of the clothes in my closet touched
76. I love trivia games
77. Sometimes I snore
78. I’m bisexual, but homoamorous
79. I love getting sweaty and dirty
80. Dolly Parton is my ‘guilty pleasure’
81. I love excess in moderation
82. I found it difficult to think of 100 things about myself
83. I hate to run for exercise, but love to run in play
84. I’ve had an affair
85. I tend to be impish at times
86. I’m not always clean, but I’m usually neat/orderly
87. I feel strong
88. I wish I could draw or play music really well
89. Single Malt Scotch makes me weak in the knees
90. I prefer oceans over mountains
91. I love(d) my waterbed - variable temperatures
92. I don’t read enough
93. My favorite dessert is Tiramisu
94. I have no tattoos
95. I like cats more than dogs
96. Dulce est desipere in loco
97. Honest sharing and discovery is never scary
98. I think strong hands and forearms are very sexy
99. I’m an extrovert
100. I’m allergic to penicillin
I recently had to verify my identity for an old account I seldom use. They needed to compare my signature with the one they had on file. So I signed my name, and the teller told me, “No, more clearly please.” I tried again and she said, “No, more so you can read it.” Suddenly it occurred to me what the problem was…I had opened the account when I was about 12 or 13 years old. It blew my mind to stop and try to remember what my signature must have looked like at that young age. Currently, it is an illegible scrawl…more of an Asian kanji or ideogram than it is any form of a recognizable name. I could see my young self attempting to be very precise and discernable with my penmanship. So, I made my third attempt, forcing my hand to make the strange yet vaguely familiar characters and symbols that form my name, an old representation of me. A myriad flashes of my young self tripped through my head. And for a moment I was awed, thrilled and amused to reminisce on that young girl and felt real gratitude for the woman I had become.
But, luckily for me, I’m still enough of a kid inside that they accepted my final attempt.
I’ve been home from Scotland for over a week and I still haven’t even developed my film yet (yes film…I went old school). I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind from the minute I landed. I quit my job and have started at yet another dealership closer to home.
I know I haven’t blogged a single word about my trip yet, but as I settle back into my life and get back to my schedule I am sure the tales will start bubbling up to be told. It was an excellent voyage, and I’m glad to be home.
