Behavioral studies show that effective communicators deliver information often and in brief, concise chunks, never speaking for very long at one time (no more than 15-30 seconds). They ask more questions, make fewer solution statements and headline their points in one or two sentences. Additional styles include summarizing frequently, letting others share their views and regularly making ‘here is where we are’ statements. Finally, unless they are passing on decisions, they save their views until others have been given the opportunity to speak.
Take a few minutes and compare these practices to the way you approach communication.
So last night I dreamt I was watching a T.V. program about a blind Muslim pianist/trumpet player named Is-rael al Haeer. During one segment of the program he was playing the second/melody part of “Chopsticks” with some other unknown person accompanying him. He started out playing the song exactly the way we all recognize it. Then, he began wandering off into this impromptu jazzy-flavored, free style improvisation that was just blowing my mind. Near the end of the piece he worked out this extreme harmonic leap and I could literally feel my brain make a brand new synapse that had never existed before. It was amazing and incredibly real.
I wish my dream-brain had Tivo so you all could see it. The guy was good!
(Of course, since waking, this memory has left me with a variety of internal inquiries about the nature of reality, alternative dimensions, some of Baudrillard,’s theories on simulacra, my level of music illiteracy and whether or not there will be anything as interesting on the ‘Haus channel’ tonight .)
Sitting on the chair in the bedroom as Butterfly packs for her trip to Rome, listening to Astrud Gilberto. The house is comfy and livable, and already feels like home, but we are not “moved in” yet. That will wait for a couple weeks till she returns. In the meantime, I will focus on a few small projects around the place, get to some personal to do items and catch up on some social time. Life is very good right now, simple, vibrant, drama-free and really pleasantly full.
ps. It recently occurred to me that a good kitchen is like a sailboat. You want one that is big enough to comfortably accommodate a crew if necessary, with posts big enough for everyone to accomplish their required tasks, while still being small enough to captain it alone.
Quote of the Day: My co-workers were chatting about who should confront one of our more difficult and obnoxious clients in order to “gently, but firmly put him in line”. My name was quickly suggested by one coworker and he said, “she can have this level of aggression that is not hostile, but cannot be denied. It’s not offensive, but it’s very direct.”
I hope that is a good thing. Actually, it bears mentioning in this regard that I just started a Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management course. So far I am enjoying it more than just about anything else I’ve ever studied and it brings together so many of the other fields in which I’ve already dabbled, i.e., culture, psychology, negotiation, philosophy, ethics, non-violence and logic. We also get to explore the theoretical sides of game theory and law.